McCall Haviland Smith

 It has been three weeks now since we first met the newest member of our family. I have soaked in more of the newborn stage this time around compared to the others. Some of it is that I have felt the best after this delivery compared to my others but there is also something in me that knows this may be my last. I don’t want her to be my last but because of circumstances it would literally take a miracle for me to have another one on my own and I’m not sure I want to do IVF again. I am much more at peace with having three and we are so incredibly grateful for this little miracle that is now in our lives. She is so cute and she is so loved!

It was nice having the scheduled C-section a few weeks in advance. I knew when the date was so it allowed me to prepare at home- lots of cleaning and having everything organized before our world changed. It also allowed me to prepare mentally even though nothing can truly prepare you for having a newborn. On June 22, 2022, we were scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 10 am for a C-section at noon. We had pretty much got everything packed for us and the girls the night before and gathered up the last-minute things. Paige and Baylor got to listen to Nate give me a priesthood blessing and then we said a family prayer before heading over to Nona and Pops house. The girls were excited for their new sister to arrive though Paige was very hesitant and a little tearful with us leaving her for a few days. We told Paige that she could be on watch with Nona’s phone and we would give her lots of updates and she would be the first to know when the baby was born and be the first to know her name. It was lots of hugs before heading up to Valley Medical Center. It was a little surreal checking in and still not truly sinking in that we were going to have another little girl to love on!

The check in process was quick and then it was getting everything ready for the C-section. I got my hospital gown on and then it was time for the IV. It was not a fun one at all! She put it in the middle of my arm and since I was a bit dehydrated from fasting it was a little difficult to get it in and then she got it set and the fluid was going through which was good but there was no blood coming out so for any blood draws I had to get them done in my other arm which was no fun. I had to get another Covid test and this one I did on my own. I got to talk with my doctor and the anesthesiologist. I got asked lots of questions and was felt pretty calm this entire time. Nate got dressed in his gear for the operating room and then it was time to go. 

One last belly picture! I'm going to miss being pregnant and that feeling of her being safe inside of me but we are so excited to finally meet our sweet baby.

Nate's sleeping arrangements for the next few days.

It was around noon that we got there. I walked into the cold operating room and the first thing was getting my spinal block. This is when I broke down a little and the anxiety of it all fully hit me and I started to cry. Being in that cold room with everyone around me and not having Nate with me was a little overwhelming. The nurse was excellent with lots of calming words and being right by me for the whole process. The numbing shot hurt and stung a lot and then when they were doing the spinal tap it was sending an electric pain down my leg and really stung in my left foot. It did that twice and freaked me out a little and then I could feel that my feet were starting to have a weird numb feeling. I got all laid down and they started hooking monitors up and checking my blood pressure and getting everything set up for when C-section. I was grateful to have Nate by my side at this point and be able to hold his hand while they finished prepping and then they were checking my numbness and at what point I could start to feel. The doctor came in with an assistant and did a test on my belly for numbness before starting the process.

They got me cut open and I knew something was a little off because there was a lot of talking from the doctor and they asked for another doctor to come in. My doctor told me that there was a lot of scar tissue from my previous C-section and my uterus was connected to my bladder and they needed to get that taken care of before they could cut open my uterus. She wanted the other doctor in there for another set of hands to help and hopefully have the least amount of contact with my bladder. It was a very long process and they did let me know when they started cutting to get the baby. I loved the anesthesiologist because she was always checking on me and talking me through everything that was going on. Once they got me cut open they let me know that there would be a lot of pressure and pushing to get the baby out which I remember but this time was SO much longer. They had to push and pry for a long time and I was told they were having a hard time getting her out since she was transverse and there was a issue with all the scar tissue I had. They ended up having to use the suction tool and did it five times with lots of pushing from the top to get her out. It was pretty uncomfortable and made it hard to breath. I’m SO grateful to Nate that he kept talking with me and holding my hand. At one point the sheet fell down on the one side and Nate looked away until they got it fixed because he didn’t want to see what was happening down there. There was also a lot of blood splatter on the sheet which was weird knowing that it was my own. 

I was so grateful once they got her out and I got to hear that sweet cry. McCall Haviland Smith was born at 12:34 pm. She cried at first and then I didn’t hear her for a while. Nate was able to go over and take a picture of her and show it to me. They kept her over there for a long time and Nate said that there were about 15 people around waiting to see if they needed to take her to the NICU. Her breathing was very short and her coloring was blue. I kept asking Nate and the anesthesiologist if she was okay. They were reassuring but I could see that Nate kept looking over to watch and it was a little nerve wracking not being able to see what was going on and wanting everything to be okay. 

All during this they were slowing stitching me back up and at one point I started having quite a bit of pain and ended up in tears probably just from everything and they gave me some pain medication. There were tears periodically through the whole process but I remember that being painful and I was grateful for the medication. After about 10-15 minutes, McCall was stable enough that they were okay with her coming over and doing skin to skin with me. I was so grateful to be able to see her and hold her. She was SO small compared to my other two! She weighed 6 lbs 13 ounces and was 19.2 inches long which was tiny compared to my other 8-pound babies that had lots of chub on them at birth.

The doctor talked to Nate some about what happened and that it was much more difficult than expected and he said that there was blood all over her face shield. I guess all the scar tissue I had didn’t allow for the proper stretch of my skin and muscle making it very difficult to get her out. It was a bit traumatic for the baby but I’m so grateful that she was okay and that she didn’t have to go to the NICU. We were in the operating room for about an hour total which in comparison when I had Paige from start to finish was only 13 minutes.  It was a lot for me to handle and even afterwards they had to continue to watch and monitor McCall and see if she continued to improve. 

For about an hour and a half after we got back into the room, I was shaking uncontrollably and was absolutely miserable. The shaking made it so much worse. They put a warm blanket around my head and a couple on my body. It took a long time for my body to not be in so much shock and I was grateful once it went away. I really didn’t have too much pain but they did stay on top of my medications. They wanted me to do as much skin to skin with McCall and hold her which seemed to stabilize her more and allowed her to stay in the room with us verse going to the NICU. There was a point that they talked about it but felt it was best to stay with mom which I’m grateful. It would have been hard to have her not with me.

 I was grateful once the shaking stopped and I order some food since at this point, I was so hungry. After I ate though I ended up throwing up twice and later when I tried to eat some dinner, I ended up throwing that food up also. After I ate, it came on all of a sudden and I ended up keeping the throw up bags right by me. The nurse told me to stop eating for awhile since throwing up and having a C-section is not the greatest combination.

A very real and raw picture of my first meal- holding a newborn, feeling not the greatest, and attempting to eat even though it all came back up a few moments later and in between rounds of throw up handing McCall to Nate so that I could throw up more.

 I was told I also lost quite a bit of blood which didn’t help how I felt and my blood pressure was pretty low. I didn’t feel the greatest the first night though I didn’t have very much pain. The funny thing is that the worst pain I had wasn’t at my incision site but in my shoulder. I ended up having heating packs on it throughout most of the first day and some of the second day. At some point during the night or early morning, I attempted to go to the bathroom for the first time and be able to move around. They took my catheter out and it was a very slow process with a walker and help from the nurse to get to the bathroom. I was able to go to the bathroom which was great even though peeing after a C-section and using those ab muscles hurt a little bit. But as I was siting on the toilet, I got very dizzy and leaned against the walker until I felt okay enough to walk back to my bed. Walking back, I got very shaking and I could tell my vision was starting to go and was grateful to lay down. The nurse checked my blood pressure and it was around 80 over 60 and she was a little concerned about me. I felt a lot better after laying down for awhile and was able to eat some graham crackers without throwing them up. In the morning I did end up getting some iron put through my IV to help with the blood loss. It was pretty painful in my arm when the nurse first started it and she ended up having to slow the flow of it and giving me an ice pack to go over where the IV went in my arm. 

The next day was a bit of a blur with lots of nurses and other people stopping in. McCall got her healed pricked which she did not like. She also was not a fan of getting her temperature checked. It took a lot of work to try and get her to breastfeed. I had colostrum which was great but it was very slow. It took McCall awhile to latch and it was easier for her on one side than the other. It was a bit painful which I remember but I did feel like she was using me more as a binky than actually getting nourishment. The nurses were great with helping me with this process.

Her first bath-She loved the water but was not a fan of getting her hair washed.

We did lots of video chats with family especially with Paige and Baylor. It was sad that they weren’t able to come to the hospital to see their new sister due to Covid protocols. Nate was my rock during the entire process with helping with me and the baby. He changed all the diapers and would hand McCall to me when needed. He would order my food for me, help me get up to go to the bathroom and pretty much whatever else I needed he was always there and willing. Of all our babies, McCall probably got held the most and wasn’t really in her hospital bed that much. Nate held her a lot and throughout the nights, I pretty much held her while we slept and attempted to feed her when needed. 

You can see the difference in this picture of how much she improved over our hospital stay- the picture on the left was pretty soon after she was born and still looks a little blue and the picture on the right was after her bath.

By Friday, I was ready to go home and not be woken up by the nurses and people coming in and out of our room though I’m so grateful for all the staff at the hospital. Nurses are so incredible! Our stay was great and both me and McCall were well taken care of. We got all the paperwork and appropriate things done. A little before we were going to go, they weighed McCall and she was down to 6 pounds and she was getting fussier and fussier. I felt bad and I could tell my milk hadn’t come in yet though I felt she was sucking so hard on me. The nurse finally asked if she could give her some formula and I was fine with it though it was a little hard knowing that I wasn’t providing what she needed. McCall was so ready for that food and gulped it down in no time. She was definitely hungry and was so much more content and happier after that bottle. They had the lactation consultant come back in and give me a plan and talk with me about getting my milk to come in. Once we got home, I would try and nurse and then I would supplement with formula and then pump afterwards. She said hopefully it would just take a few days and then I could nurse fully and not have to supplement. There were some tears while talking with her since it was hard for me to know I wasn’t able to feed my baby on my own and especially since with Baylor my milk came right in and I had no issues at all with nursing. We then got McCall in some real clothes which she did not like getting dressed and put in her car seat. She looked so tiny!

It was so nice to be able to finally go home! The ride home was a little rough with every turn and bump would hurt and I was hungry by this point but nothing sounded good. We stopped to get some food and I ended up getting a strawberry milkshake which hit the spot for me. We got everything unloaded and then Nate went and got the girls from Nona and Pop’s house. I want to always remember that moment when they walked in! They were both so quiet and in awe. They went right over to the car seat and were commenting how small and cute she was and were hesitant to touch her but you could see so much love in both of them. I could tell that us being gone was hard on Paige and she was so happy for us to be back. Paige got to hold her first and then Baylor. They were both so caring and gentle. I wasn’t sure how Baylor would be but she was so sweet and loves to kiss and hold her hands and nuzzles her like a little kitten. The next few days were filled with lots of cuddles and lots of family time.

The first diaper change at home- in the picture on the right you can see Baylor plugging her nose. :)

The nice thing about supplementing with formula for the first little bit (it took about 4 days once we got home from the hospital and I was so grateful it only lasted that long because I am not a fan of pumping especially with a hand pump) is that Nate and the girls got to help feed her with a bottle. Paige really enjoyed this since she didn't get to do that with Baylor.

Her first night at home- she is so tiny!

Just more sweet pictures from the first week- She is so loved and just the sweetest little thing.

We are so incredibly grateful for this sweet little girl that is now a part of our family. It is absolute heaven to have a newborn again and I love seeing our girls interact and how helpful Paige and Baylor both are. Nate and I are of course exhausted and there has been some struggles with Baylor not being the nicest to Paige but I know we will take each day at a time and work through each struggle and all the fun times together as a family of 5. 

A few more snapshots of our lives the last few weeks

Her first bath at home was a family affair

All bundled up after getting cleaned- She LOVED her bath but did not like getting lotion put on.

So much love and adoration for a little girl!

McCall wearing Nate's pjs from when he was a baby along with his teddy bear and one of his baby blankets.

Her first outing was to her doctor's appointment. This was a big one for her since we were seeing if she was gaining weight so that I could stop supplementing with formula and looked great which was awesome. Her doctor did discover a heart murmur and so we had to schedule an appointment with Seattle Children's which was a little scary. Baylor also had a heart murmur and we didn't have to take the next step so I was a little worried something might be more serious. So her second outing was to Seattle Children's in Bellevue. I love this little outfit (the one and only outfit I bought for her) that she wore to her appointment.

Getting her very long ultrasound- She did pretty good most of the time and I wish I had the binky but it was in another room so towards the end when she was getting fussy I had her suck on my finger. After she got an EKG done and it was crazy to see all these stickers and wires connected to her little body. Then she got her blood pressure taken with the cutest and smallest blood pressure cuff that I have ever seen. The doctor then came in and told us everything looks great and that she has a small heart murmur but it most likely will go away with time and it is nothing to worry about. We are so grateful for this answer to prayers and that it isn't anything serious.

I can't believe that I now have 3 girls to love and adore! I love being their mom!

The three most deliciously cute baby burritos!

I had to get a few pictures that I have with each of the girls- the first was a picture with this hat- Paige is top right, Baylor bottom right, and McCall on the left. The hat did not fit quite as well on McCall's tiny head compared to the other two.

Then of course I had to get an iconic Nate picture- He truly is the most rad dad and his girls are so lucky to have him. Paige is top right, Baylor bottom right, and McCall on the left (McCall's face in her picture makes me laugh every time I look at it!)

What a journey it has been to get to this point! I could just stare at McCall all day. She is just the cutest little thing and when she looks at you, it is like she is looking into your soul. I’m so grateful for this miracle baby and can’t wait to watch her grow and learn and see her interact more and more with her sisters. I’m so amazingly grateful for all three of my girls and that I get to be their mom! It truly it what makes my life so sweet.