I had the opportunity to teach the young women this past Sunday. When I teach I really want them to feel of my love and feel of Christ's love for them. I want them to know Jesus better because of the lesson and discussion we had together. This past week our Come Follow Me Lesson was Mosiah 18-24 and I chose to focus on Alma and the people that followed him and our baptismal covenants. I had the girls share with me things they remembered about their baptism and we talked about the covenant we made at baptism and what God promises us. We talked a little bit about how covenant living is a way of life and not just a checklist. Then I focused on a verse that I would have otherwise not even thought about (thanks to Don't Miss This for pointing this out to me!). It is Mosiah 18:30. It talks about this place of Mormon 6 times in one verse. That's a lot when you are carving this into metal. I asked the young women why they would write it out so many times (this was a place of hiding, a place of refuge, an overgrown place, a place near where they used to live but no one in the city knew about it so it wasn't a destination place). One young women said because it was important to them! It was a place where they got to know Jesus and felt of His love, grace, and goodness. Then in the Don't Miss This Video that I watched earlier in the week, it talked about how we each have places in our lives that are our own "waters of Mormon". Places where we got to know Jesus, where we felt of His love because of who we were with and what we were talking about, places where our testimonies grew and where we felt the Spirit. They could be super insignificant to other people but to us they become sacred. So as I was preparing my lesson, I reflected on my own life and then had the idea to see what pictures I had that showed my own "waters of Mormon" and I put together a slideshow and shared with my young women places where I felt close to God and got to know Jesus better. I wanted to blog about it and include the pictures I shared so that I have my own journal entry to always remember and be able to reflect back on and others can hear my story of how I got to know Jesus and hopefully encourage them to reflect on their own lives of places they met Jesus.
I was very forunate to grow up in a home where I was raised in the gospel. I was taught about Jesus and His teachings from the very beginning. My sister often shares that looking back now our dining room table was a sacred place. It was a place of gathering for meals, birthday parties, family and friend get togethers, doing family activities, and doing family home evening. Even now, after we eat we often sit at the table long after and just visit. I remember asking all sorts of questions about the plan of salvation and my mom always had the most fun and creative family home evening lessons and of course it was always the day of the week where there was a treat. :) We were a family that worked together, played together, and supported one another in the things we were involved in. That little 8 year old girl made the choice to be baptized and really at that young age I didn't fully realize where that choice would lead me. It led me to such a wonderful life where even though there have been struggles, I know who I can rely on to get through them- My Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ, and my family and friends that love me and support me.
I was raised in a community and with friends that were instrumental in building my testimony as a youth. I felt Jesus at a track meet or cross country meet as we prayed together before the race and cheered and encouraged each other to do our very best. I felt Jesus at FCCLA competitions especially my senior year when I was the president of our school's chapter and I got to pray with each of the groups before they did their presentation. Some of these people weren't even a member of my faith, but we believed together in a higher power and we believed in each other. I had the most incredible group of friends from a very young age. We were always there for each other. I often felt Jesus with them as we had late night conversations in friend's basement, as we navigated school and relationships together, and we loved and supported and encouraged each other to be our very best. I also had an incredible seminary teacher that taught me to love the gospel and love the scriptures in my youth. He promised that as we read the scriptures before we did our homework that it would help us and I remember trying it out one year and I loved to see how scripture study helped my life. I had the most incredible young women leaders and moments in the youth program where I experienced Jesus. Some of my biggest testimony building moments as a youth were at girl's camp, youth conferences (doing baptisms for the dead in the Salt Lake Temple was incredible!), and a big one was doing trek.
Marriage and Motherhood have probably been the two biggest things in my life where I have felt so close to God, felt my relationship with my Savior grow, and a desire to have the gospel more fully in my life. These two things have taught me to be a better person, how to forgive more fully and more often, how to love and how to love deeply and that my love doesn't have limits, how to find joy in the little moments, to have an eternal perspective, and that my efforts matter. I can try to be better each day and I have these sweet humans in my life forever and they see me in my weakest moments but still love and forgive me and see the absolute best in me even when I can't see it in myself.
An insignificant place to most but a special place in Nate and I's relationship is at Smith Park in Rexburg. It's what we referred to as the "Party Wagon". This is where Nate and I got to know each other, where we realized we were meant for each other, and where we got engaged. Going to college at BYU-Idaho was one of the those really good decisions I made in life. It is a time in my life I would totally go back to. It was a place where I often felt Jesus in classes, at devotionals, just on campus, and with the relationships I made with roomates. It was a time in my life that was full of transitions and I had to choose God on my own for the first time. Now when we take our children back to the "Party Wagon" it is a true full circle moment where I can't believe the life that Nate and I have created together and how grateful I am that Heavenly Father had a plan for us.
This is a simple one where it was a year where I got to know Jesus better. President Nelson challenged us to read the Book of Mormon and look for all the things that God promises to covenant Israel. It was amazing to look back over the year and see everything that God has promised me and that I can trust God that He will keep these promises because I see it happen in the stories I read in the scriptures.
Going through infertility and IVF was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. It tested my faith in God and challenged if I could trust Him or not. It made me wonder if He really heard my prayers and if He was listening. It made me wonder whether He was really there and if He loved me. It made me wonder what I had done wrong to not deserve such a righteous desire. It was hard! I did a lot of this during Covid so I was often alone and Nate had to wait in the waiting room while I went through these things by myself. I relied on hope and the love of others so much during this time. I relied on prayer and would pour out to God even when I was questioning. There were so many tender mercies and moments during it where I felt so close to God and it often came through other people. It was hugs and sweet notes from my girls when there were tears because the shot hurt too much that night. It was priesthood blessing and hugs and late night conversations with the most supportive husband that probably was hurting in his own ways but was always so strong for me. It was flowers from friends and family to cheer me up after a loss. It was conversations where my loved ones would cry with me as I dealt with the anguish of each loss and their compelete joy and excitement for me when there was a positive outcome. I relied on my faith and when my faith was low then I would rely on hope and just believe that everything would work out. It may not have been my timeline, but it makes me so grateful for my girls and for a Father in Heaven that heard my prayers and helped me through one of the most challenging periods of my life.
This is another insigificant place to others and is just a random park near where we live. On this particular day, I found out that one of my rounds of IVF failed. It was hard and I was filled with grief, but I decided to take the girls outside because nature always helps clear my mind and feeds my soul and I was filled with such gratitude for my girls and that Heavenly Father loved me.
The last thing I shared with these incredible young women is that every week I feel Jesus and close to Jesus when I am with them. They are filled with light and joy. They make me want to be a better person and a better leader for them. I want them to feel of my love and our Savir's love because I feel it every week when I am with them. This calling has pushed me more than any other calling I have ever had. It has made me rely on prayer and the Spirit and has helped me recognize the Spirit in my life more than any other calling I have ever had. There have been SO many moments with them and with the people I get to be with in the Church with the various callings I have had, where I have felt Jesus in a way that I don't know where else I would be able to have experiences like this. Another inspired program within the Church is ministering. It has allowed me to have friendships where I have truly felt Jesus through their love, stories, and presence. I have life long friendships because of ministering and because of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I want to always have this mindset and that moments and experiences happen in my life where I encouter Jesus. I yearn for this for my girls and loved ones. I know He will show up and that He is always there, I just have to look.
